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Writer's pictureWali Barefield

Moving Forward After a Break-up

Kasha Thompson @kayslay_allday

Photo: Nappy.com



If you have ever dated chances are you've experienced a break-up. Ending a relationship can be difficult especially when you had a five year plans for you and former lover. What about your couple’s vacation to Miami? Or the fact that you already purchased a crockpot off of his sister’s wedding registry. With any separation comes changes and lesson. So, what can you learn from your break-up other than the fact that your ex needs to run you back the $106 dollars you spent on that stupid crockpot.


Like most things in life if it’s meant for you then it will be. You can’t force a square peg into a round hole. Sometimes we want the relationship to work so badly that we are willing to look past the obvious signs that he may not be the one. Often times stepping away from a relationship allows you the clarity to see things as they really are. Maybe you need the time apart to work on making yourself happy independent of a partner. If he is truly the one maybe you’ll see him in the next lifetime like Erykah.


Stop trying to put a shiny spin on your suspect relationship. Now that you’re single you seem to have a case of selective amnesia. You choose to only remember the good times like when he cleaned the whole apartment unprompted because he knew you’d had a tough week. It was so sweet when he did that… once. Are you really going to forget about the reason you broke up in the first place? He neglected you and only seemed to call you when he wanted something. And don’t forget the time that lady called your phone coming to you woman to woman. Spoiler alert... Marcus wasn’t a great boyfriend your just lonely. Call a thing a thing. He’s your ex for a reason.


What if I told you could be single and be happy? Many of us feel like we need a relationship to be fulfilled. The most important relationship is with yourself. It’s okay to spend time alone just nurturing you. Take yourself on a date get your nails done, hair done, everything did. Treat yourself to that new book, dress, or bag. Enroll in that class you’ve been interested in. Teach yourself how to make chicken marsala with parmesan spinach orzo. A partner should enhance your life they shouldn’t be your life.


What are you waiting for? Lick your wounds, learn the lessons, and work on personal improvement. Break-ups aren't the end they are the start of something new.


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