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Pleasing Your Mate vs Pleasing Yourself

Written by: Wali Barefield

Do you remember when you first started your relationship? When your mate began doing things to please you such as paying for dinner, buying you gifts, taking you on trips, flirting with you on the phone and by text. Those times are some of the best moments in a relationship. We all have done it. We meet someone new and begin doing things to please them. Then we find ourselves going places that we do not like or care to visit. Watching movies or shows that we are not interested in. Eating foods that we normally wouldn’t eat.

We find ourselves wanting to make the person that we like happy. And there is nothing wrong with it unless it stops us from pleasing ourselves. When it comes to pleasing your mate, should you start putting your needs first before theirs? We all can account to this happening to ourselves or others. After a person becomes comfortable in the relationship, they begin to stop doing things to please their lover. The focus becomes on them and them alone.

There is a belief that in a relationship one lover will love the other person more. This statement can be considered true when we have been the person in a relationship doing things to please our partner and getting nothing in return. It should never be just one person pleasing their mate in a relationship. It takes two people to commit. And it takes two people to invest in the relationship to keep it healthy and strong.

So, what should you do? Please your mate or please yourself? BOTH.

You must find a way to please your partner while maintaining your independence. It is possible to make your lover happy while doing the things that make you happy too. Find some common ground. If your partner is willing to do things to please you, then they will make sacrifices that will allow you to do what makes you happy. You should not be in a relationship where you are pleasing your partner and they are not pleasing you. This will only lead to unhappiness and regrets.

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Find the strength to do the things that will make you happy. And if your relationship is healthy and strong you can please your partner while making yourself happy at the same time. Always remember, there is nothing wrong with putting yourself first. However, making your partner happy should bring you joy if you are in love with them and vice versa. Find the balance between making them and yourself happy and your relationship should remain healthy.

So now answer the question: Can you find the balance between Pleasing Your Mate vs Pleasing Yourself?


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