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Writer's pictureWali Barefield

Self-Love for the Win

Kasha Thompson @kayslay_allday

Photo: Unsplash.com


Before jumping into any new relationship, you want to ensure that you are nurturing your most important relationship … the one with yourself. Have you ever heard the saying wherever you go there you are? It means that no matter what room you enter, you are bringing yourself with you. So, if you have not yet dealt with childhood traumas or past relationship disappoints you will drag all of that with you and it will impact your chances at a fresh start. Let’s look at some ways we can focus on self-care and working on yourself before adding someone else to the equation.


Give yourself a break – No one is perfect so why do you expect perfection from yourself. We are all going to make mistakes. Making mistakes isn’t the problem being unable or unwilling to learn from those mistakes is the problem. You need to recognize that you are a work in progress. Growth takes time and success looks different for everyone. Celebrate your wins and learn from your losses.


Love the skin you’re in – You need to embrace who you are. We are all unique so why are you still trying to fit somewhere you don’t belong or be someone you don’t recognize or like. By learning to love yourself you will attract people who are drawn to the energy you give. This ain’t high school stop trying to fit in and stand out as your true authentic self.


Stretch yourself – You will not be the same person in your 40’s that you are in your 20’s, thank God. Life is all about growth. You will learn what you like, what you are willing to tolerate, and what things are straight deal breakers. You should want to improve yourself making you a little bit better each day. We should be constantly growing and learning new thing. The hard times and failures will come, you can count on that, but how you respond in the hard times is what it most important. All that stressing can be a lesson.


Be kind to yourself – We can be our toughest critics. You need to stop the negative self-talk. If you tell yourself you are stupid, or fat how will you ever believe someone who tell you different. The world is going to be cruel but you should be your safe place. The way you talk to yourself and about yourself should be positive, encouraging, and honest. You are not the dumbest person alive. Negative self-talk can sabotage your chances at healthy relationships with others. Show yourself some grace.


Wherever you go there you are so ensure that you protect your energy. You should learn to be your biggest fan. Be your own hype man and watch the crowd go wild.



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